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Saturday, July 08, 2006

那天看鬼域,妈妈打来了通电话。听到她的声音,很累,仿佛没有力气和我说话。妈妈告诉我他的身体状况。好像一天比一天衰弱。我的心又开始一阵疼痛。我真的不知道要怎样去安慰及关心妈妈。我尽量想一些好话,吩咐他别那么劳碌,多休息。我很想照顾妈妈。可是,我可以放弃这里的工作,这里的音乐,这里的一切一切吗?现在就算是继续做我想要做的东西,可是我还是会被妈妈的病情给影响到,我实在是无发自拔,好无奈,很憎恨自己无能。

近来爸妈真的老了很多。可是我还是一样对他们说他们还不老。时常都劝他们不要想太多,无论怎样应该要过得开心才是。虽然口头叫他们不要想太多,可是我时常就是想得太多,给自己太多的压力和借口。

其实,我很无奈。无奈的是为什么人家的家人可以那么的相处,亲戚来往都很可亲。可是,我们的家庭就不容许这样。妈妈的兄弟姐妹个个都只为自己好,没有亲情可言。他们那一代的人,也许多多少少也影响了我们这一代的发展。 虽然爸爸胜过其他人,他的智慧与人缘无人能比,多少人都得尊敬他。可是到了我们这一代,仿佛就好像没有那位能够接纳他的位置。这是我心中一直都无法解开的压力。我真的不知道如何能够帮助到爸爸。难道真的没有人能够接纳吗?难道就这样让它失去吗?我真的有太多太多的压力,困扰,忧伤,沉默,悲痛,无人能知,也无人能解。
我经常都以最积极的一面来看待一切。可是,我毕竟是个感情的动物,会伤心,会流泪。不知不觉

我已经26了,可是我还是觉得我的经验和人缘还不够,行为上还是老样子,不会变得更成熟,更不懂得处理。我有太多的忧虑,有时候我也常常慰问自己为什么我会那么的不开心,那么的想不开。我真的很沉重,很沉重。

有时后,我想爸妈太过特别关心我们了。如果弄得不好的话,反而会永远把我们守护在笼子里,根本就不能够体会到爸妈是如何的辛苦,如何的把这道完美无缺的道路给铺开来。其实那会是好事吗?这真的能够帮助到我们吗?其实我真的不敢走。可是 爸妈已为我们安排了一条安全又有计划的路,我要是不走的话,我会让爸妈伤心,要是走上了话,转换成我不开心,因为那始终不是我想走的路。可是那真正我想走的路,对我来说却是一条永远都不可能实现的路。我,真的可以走出来吗?

Friday, July 07, 2006

鬼域

昨天晚上,我突然好闷。我便叫Justin和家宝一同陪去我看电影。在车上谈着那部“鬼域”。家宝在这时对我说,其实那间戏院曾经有人在戏院里看到死去。我们顿时毛骨悚然,还说应该没那么巧会坐在他那位子吧。在进入Leisure Mall 的parking, 很不小心的,我竟然把我的车身弄花了。真不知道为什么会那么大意。 我那时的心情很低落,很不开心。明明是想看戏松弛心情的,谁知道。。。

进入了戏院,我们被安排坐在7-9号的位子。不说你不信,6号的位子竟然没人坐,而且还是只有那一张椅子空着的。在这时我们不敢再提起那件事情了。静静地坐着等待荧幕画面的开始。

Monday, July 03, 2006

好心情

今天在工作上还算不错,起码开始有点收获了。我想当你用心平缓和的角度去面对一些事情,好事就自然来。可能之前给自己太大压力,现在我该懂得怎么去应付。今天也学了很多东西,我看见老板是如何以冷静的态度去应付客人。在这个月里,我想要为自己设立一个目标,就是能够达到至少十单生意。好好干吧!

放工后,收到好消息。Joe Yee寄了sms给我,告诉我说今晚瑞业要见我们谈谈关于contract 的事情。这可真的是喜事呢! 看来今天的运气不错,两件都是好事。


我虽然开心,可是我就是感觉缺少了些东西。缺少什么呢?就是缺少了一位能够和我分享喜悦的人。

"当你感到压力时,应该要放松自己,别把自己给压扁了。深呼吸,想些开心的,听听歌,如果很寂寞,就找朋友出来喝茶吧。"

Saturday, July 01, 2006

好的开始!

还以为毕业了之后我的生活又会回到了平凡的日子,过着无聊的生活。可是,没想到我竟然能够在这一年里达到我最大的两个愿望。那就是我在最段的时间内寻找到我心想中的一份工作,那就是网络顾问;其二, 我终于能够在音乐上有个发挥的途径。我被本地唱片公司老板 - 瑞业老师看中了。他请求我加入他的大家庭。我非常高兴,但也有点担心。开心的是我终于能够把我这五至六年的累计的歌曲从新的在收集,调整,然后交与唱片公司去卖。在短短的几个月里,我却有两份心爱的工作。网络顾问是我的全职,而音乐是我的兼职工作。我想如果赚到了钱,口袋开心,我当然也会更开心了也,哈哈~; 担心的是害怕不能表现出我的认真和才华的一面,会令人失望。到时候,我会很伤心,因为我是一位容易失去信心得人。可是,再想一想,也许是我太过担心了。

哎哟~阿公,干嘛想那么多,敢敢去做啦,别犹豫了!老板也说我有时他真的不知到我在想些什么,说些什么,令他觉得我怪怪的。他也劝我别想太多。哈!

工作确实是令我感到压力,老板也体会到我有烦恼,他努力的让我适应环境。说真的,老板对待我可真的不错。我想要是我在其他公司,老板哪会有时间听你的心事,唠叨~早都把你开除了。
我发觉现在的社会进步到很快,产品和服务的变化也很快。新公司不但要想办法生长, 而且也要面对竞争对手的压迫。有了网络,确实会让我们有更大的商业机会,也因为这样,公司不但要面对本地压迫,也要面对世界的压迫,几乎喘不透气来了。

现在,我慢慢开始发觉到,如果一个人没有杰出本领,你就无法在社会上立足。你也将会像世界杯那样被被领红卡而淘汰出局。智慧和人际是非常重要,一定要不断学习,不断进步。在说灵活的头脑以及快速判断力也非常重要。

在今年来,毕竟拥有这两份工是我最开心的事。我希望我能够在这两份工里发挥出我的才能,增加我的经验及改善我的人生。

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Business Plan

A lot of argument and unavoidable things have happened in our team. We didn't expect how serious it was until we got to know that our team has found out the bad issue together. There were someone who has cheated us and didn't admit what their had done to some of our teammates. Eventually, they left us without giving any reason. We were very dissapointed to what they had done to us. However, we insisted to continue our own plan but we will have to adjust our previous plan in our management team.

The process of acheiving our album has becoming harder. Due to our investor concern, they would like to see our biz plan instead of just 'a piece of paper'. Furthermore, I really think that it will still be a long way to go before we can release our first album. A lot of plan and discussion need to go along with. I hope that our spirit will not die in the end and yet we can come out something that is worth for us after spending out so much of energy and time on it.

We decided to get a meeting every sunday night at 10 pm. Gotta make it as part my biz life even though i hate this kind of process.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

The song of getting 2nd Place

Below is my lyric that I sent it to compete at Beanidol.com webiste.

有一天
Verse 1: (第一段)
多少沧海桑田不灭的誓言
它藏在我心里面
试者放开胸怀看看这世界
飞到海角天边渴望快乐一点

Verse 2: (第二段)
美丽的花最后还是要枯萎
我的执着变为憔悴
树上叶子掉落散发成花泪
有谁给我安慰有谁陪我相随

Chorus: (副歌)
人生反复无常
难以去了解过去的迷茫
变成现在的残缺海浪的荡漾
缭乱了我心扉仿佛希望早已破碎

Ending:
或许有一天我会有完美的改变
只要有恒心勇敢站在最前线
不管是错是对都得用心的去体会
就算疲倦还是累我也不会后悔

Beanidol: Lyric Category - 2nd place winner


Surprisingly I won the second place in that lyric competition. I am very happy to see this. I believe that actually it has a lot of people that can write better than me. I think that this time I was just lucky. Anyway, this will give me more confident in writing lyric than composing. I feel both are essential and dependent in creating a nice song.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

All contestants - USS 2006

There will be a 7 out of 15 singers to get into finalist. Beside me, both has successfully entered into final. Congrates!

(Start from left: me, goh, leng chai)

Below are all the contestants who participate in this utar star search contest. Cheers!

Backdrop View


See how was our design for our Utar Star Search 2006. Nice right? Thanks to all my lovely helper who help me design the font.

Some people said that the logo looked like the st. john logo. Haha..

But, in overall, my friends told me that the backdrop was nice and well done. I'm feel quite happy ler. Kekeke..

Our M Club

It has been quite a long time I never update my blog. Sorry ya. Too much things to do recently. Assignment..Doing event la.. sigh~ headache.. Now, I just worry about my study.. haha... I can't focus on so many things together.

Recently.. having some meeting with 10 of M Club members, they felt that nowadays, the most applicable ways of promoting and doing our songs is by posting in website, which has a lot of visitor come and view the page everyday. After doin some research, we found out that there is actually a lot of things to get done before we can really come out our album. Forget about album.. now, what we need to do is to do more research and find more information about how to promoting our products. There still have some obstacle and risk need to be considered. Therefore, maybe our project need to carry out carefully and hope that eventually the result is what we expected.

After conducting some survey with few composer like Peng Xue Bing and others, we got a lot of important message from them and they all suggested that not to spent our own money in all the expenditure that we are goin to spent. Therefore, sponsors is the one way to get the money that we need to do recording and producing cds.

However, it costs a lot of moneys. Furthermore, we feel that 10 of our members, each of us must hold different position and everyone play an important role.

We are trying hard to get some sponsor from outside. However we keep on continuing do our recording for the demo album. We feel that there's no point to wait for sponsorship and doing nothing.

- to be continued

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

An important meeting

There will be a meeting on 19, 20, 21 at Golden City near Jalan Maxwell there. We will be discussing about the whole picture of our album and most importantly the sponsorship.

We will also meet with our advisor Peng Xue Bing to discuss about the album's problems. This meeting would be a very essential for us to initially proceed to next steps. Hopefully all will be fine.

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Plan to doing some 'Large' Project!!

After the competition, it is really a great experience and also a chance to meet with many composers. They are all great people and talented. Few days before, I have received a great news from Huey.

The message is written as below:
讨论事项
1) 发表会上卖的合集cd = 收入了每人‘一首’最满意的歌曲,除07-01比赛之歌曲几曾经获奖之歌曲。 (最好是近期新创作)
2)发表会选用之歌曲:每人准备任何俩首创作歌曲在当天发表 (除cd合集之歌曲)。

The message simply telling me that we are getting to come out an album which consists of 8 out of 10 contestants' songs. Each of us must prepare 2 songs for the album. This album will be going to promote to buyers.

This is a great new and also a rare opportunity. Not everyone can able to do it unless there is a full resources and people. (天时地利人合)。 Thankz for my great great frens who helping me to achieve this dream . I hope it can success.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Song Composing Competition 7/01/06

I was so nervous when finally I was on the stage again performing a song called -'自伤自怜'。Self-Sadness

However, I'm quite satisfied with my performance after watching back the video clip. But, there was a few mistakes. First, I think I shouldn't walk too much as what my fren, Cat said. "It is very important to have walking, but not to walk too much as audient hard to focus you."
- Haha.. wat a mess

Second, I shouldn't face too much area, even left, right, middle, up and down. I have looked too much angle until I just realized that this action had troubled my audience view.

Third, DON't ever forget lyric. It is important not to forget lyric when on stage. If you had forgotten, you must continue to perform your song without seing you had done any mistake.

Certain aspects that I feel that the organizer did not do well on their job bcoz they were not fully estimate on how many prizes they should give to presenters. One of the girl was not getting any prize and feel ashamed when she was called to go out and receive the prize. I feel really pity to her. Another thing is that I very doubt about the judgers (although I salute them), they not really pro enough to choose who is the best singer and performance. I really feel dissapointed once I watched the video. I think maybe they're hiding 'something', something that cannot be 'disclosed'

Although I feel a bit angry, but, as long as I acheive my objective, that is to get a medal, I get my confident back to music. I'm happy bcoz my frens went to support me and I very thank them. I hope that this kind of event will be coming again as more and more new composers and writters appear and have the opportunity to collaborate with them.

Now, I have meet some new Kaki (frens). I think I will be getting to know more about them if I meet them one day.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Farewell 2005!

Yesterday afternoon, 7 of us including my housemates and classmates, went to sungai wang to see sau fun performance. It was rainy day. The event was delayed and we able to see her performed on the stage. What a relief. I thought that I would miss her performance but it wouldn't. After watching this, we went to 'Da Ren' Esquire Kitchen to have our dinner. Later on, we quickly went back to home bcoz we knew that during countdown, kl would be jamming. Therefore, we did not want to stuck there and couldn't come back. After came back to home and rest for a while we suggested to go watching firewood at 'Small Genting'. Haha.... We finally reached there 12 midnight sharp and we did see the firewood but quite far far away. Sigh~.. but at least our plan was success. Haha...

Later on we went back to Kajang to have Kajang satay. Welcome 2006 and Say Goodbye to 2005!!

Saturday, December 31, 2005

永别了 2005

2005年, 将要过去了。回想起这一年里,最大的收成也就是音乐上的突破。万万没想到我这么大把年纪了还能够创作写歌,通常人家都已经在事业上走着轨道。

可是,虽然如此,我却认识了不少创作人才,不管是校内还是校外,他们的精神,是令我敬佩得五体投地。我现在才真正体会到原来我们本地有那么多人才,简直是卧虎苍龙啊,真不简单。

音乐是我的灵魂,我真正能够发出于内心的一个空间。不管是喜,怒,哀,乐,只要在那里动笔写出来,创作出来,你就会得到放松及快乐。

在这年里,毕竟发生了很多事情,不过还不错。基本上大多数都是开心度过。虽然也没有什么改变,不过我也觉得满意。只是还有很多东西没完成,做事太慢了。

无论如何,希望新的一年里,比去年更进步,更多好的惊喜,更多机会,更多美好的事情发生。

再次恭祝各位新年快乐!

赞! 我的歌入围了!





Email received from Mainstream
入围了!入围了! 终于我的歌曲 - 自伤自怜入围了! 感谢仲辉,以及其他喜欢我歌的朋友们。没有让你们失望。
也感谢超级好歌选秀赛, 给我机会,也给我了信心。
其实之前我做了一个决定。那就是如果这次没办法入围,那么这也就证明了我的歌曲不被感动及不流行。再继
续下去也不是办法。所以,我就拿这次做肯定。如果我多年的心血作品不能够入围,也就得放弃。这个概念不
鼓励那些创作人,因为这只是我唯一的选择。

在还没有听到这消息之前,我打开我那五首歌曲,听了又听。从中想了解一下在那里不好,那里令人感动。突
然发觉到那首令我感动的歌突然变成没什么感动,为什么会这样,我倒也能够了解。那是因为我唱歌不够好,
还没到那种能够令人陶醉以及感动的声音。我的唱腔实在太结实了。

可是,那首歌曲被采纳,也证明了我之前的选择是对的。之前我的心中就有两首歌曲希望被选到。 一是对你的种种,二是自伤自怜。虽然我望望没想到的是排在我心中第二位置的歌,自伤自怜确是他们的喜爱。但是至 少这些猜测带给我一点信心。信心在那地方呢?信心在于选择歌曲,选择人们心中最爱。


当然,除了努力,有时都得投靠运气。在这次的比赛当中,我相信其实还有很多创作人没有参加。那可能是因为十二月份,通常少会被注意到,也比较少人知道。再来是因为参赛时间距离太短了,相信很多创作者都来不及报名。说实在的,我这次是靠运气好啊~


可是不管怎样,我还是成功入围了, 我一定会把它唱好。


自伤自怜 曲: 许 乾元 词: 范 仲 辉

风刮大树倒一边
我家漏水塞海绵
你曾经路过我的屋前
我害怕的躲在房里面

你的手因有人牵
我的脚却有狗舔
脸上笑容扮很甜
心中眼泪是很咸


看部电影 没人陪
餐厅吃饭 独自醉
被你看见 自伤自怜 没有便!

我真的不了解什么是人世间
又讲行善积福就能得姻缘
每次拜神我都拿到下下签
心里伤痕泪水有谁能够看见

真的不了解什么是人世间
公子爷看美女叫眼神放电
我瞄一下就叫做样子下贱
缘分和我相处距离很遥远

我发誓要凭努力赚多多钱
我要你知道我为你而改变
希望有一天你会心甘情愿
愿意陪着我一起海角天边


唉。。。坐下来
想一下另一个方面
听一下老人长辈意见
这种相恋不能叫永远。。。


唉。。。有谁能给我意见
我不想再次躲在房间
难道还要苦苦思念
才有勇敢的爱恋








以下是那时候我所看到的广告宣传:




Friday, December 30, 2005

Music Competition's Resume - 音乐比赛摘要

凭着哥哥的一把吉它,开始了我的创作人生。渐渐的,一首接一首歌曲创作就这样的诞生。朋友协同组织校园乐队,在学校里首当校园的实力乐队。参加学校和外头的小小比赛,赢得了不少欢呼声和奖励。

虽然时光已过,但是我的热忱,爱好创作,始终都不会停止,直到最后一口气,都不会放弃音乐。

1996 - English Song Competition
Inunhabited World - Composed by Tony Khor, lyric by Sally Ngan

1997 - 华文学会主办(华语歌曲)
凭着我们的创作 - 父亲,赢了冠军和全场总冠军。姐姐也在那时见证了我那光辉时刻。

1998 - 为KRS(Kadet Remaja Sekolah) 写了一首歌 - KRS 你是我的宝贝,当场闭幕时感动了每一位的心,甚至有人哭了,也舍不得离开。

1998 - 全国歌曲创作比赛 ~迴聲

1. 母亲
2. 我以为
3. 用心 (闽南歌)

1998 - Bakat Chung Hwa
1. 想念她 (华语独唱 - 冠军)
2. 你的朋友 (组合 - 亚军)

隔了4年,音乐终於又让我燃烧起来。

2005 - 在UTAR成为音乐学会的音乐创作训练者 - Music Composing Coordinator/Trainer.

2005年 8月- 参加了中国流行音乐原创作品大赛
1. 坎坷爱情
2. 幸福月光

2005年12月 - 参加 [超级好歌选秀赛]
1. 自伤自怜 4.27
2. 星星 4.01
3. 天国心愿 2.24
4. 对你的种种 4.53
5. 谁错 Shui Cuo 4.25

Monday, December 26, 2005

My Demo has done!

Yea yea.. this is a truely moment that I can rest for a while bcoz I have completed 5 Demo songs in two days. Wat a hurry working experience. I will post my demo here once the demo is submited to the hand of Mainstream. Haha... you know... for copyright purpose. You can't blame me for not giving you a priority to listen my songs, ok? Deal. Haha... Thanks for Boon in helping me submitting the demo to them. I hope both of us can enter to the top 10 list!! .. Pray & pray & pray...

5 Demo songs are as follow:

Song Name

1. 自伤自怜 Zi Shang Zi Lian 4.27
2. 星星 Xing Xing 4.01
3. 天国心愿 Tian Guo Xin Yuan 2.24
4. 对你的种种 Dui Ni De Zhong Zhong 4.53
5. 谁错 Shui Cuo 4.25

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Merry Christmas!!!... --hmm...why im alone ar??

25 Dec 2005, its another reminder for me that the 2005 is going to end soon. Haha...wat a mess.. so many things not be able to complete. What to do? Blame my laziness la.. Aiyo.. But, right now im doing for the song composing competition for this coming wednesday. It is organized by mainstream. I think I can give a credit to myself as a Christmas gift. Haha.. sigh~ hope that this time I can be the top 10 list la... Hope Hope Hope..

Now.. still doin doin doin... composing composing.....

Monday, December 19, 2005

theme song's feedback.... Great!


I'm very happy as I have gained the support and trust from committees of my talent in composing music. Many committees like my song which I composed for their theme song - A dream is wish your heart makes. Committees wish to listen more songs from me. Hoping that this proposed song can be selected as for the USS 2006 next year.

Maybe some people may think that this is just a small contribution and nothing special, but this will make me feel confident and believe in my creativity in composing song.